In my study of Gods' Word, concerning Love, I began my effort with several precepts (TRUTHS) that His Word says that we "must" hold to when we study. One of those precepts is that, God says we must allow what He says to "replace", in our heart and subsequently our mind, with the tradition, folk-lore, popular opinion, the way we feel about the subject, and anything else we have learned from this world.
Another precept is that, whatever Gods' Word says on any given subject... He also says, that it is sufficient... complete... that, with His Word, a Christian may be "adequate"... equipped for "every" good work. Now there are other precepts I use to help me understand the bible, but I only refer to these two for the purpose of this study. This study is directed toward only you whom profess Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior. I have said before, there is no point in teaching someone how to measure the fruit of Gods' love to those whom have not received it, and that - through salvation only.
In this world, we hear about expressions of love which might suggest that the bible just doesn't cover everything we are to know about it. Television and radio talk shows describe love differently sometimes from what the bible describes as love... suggesting, there is more to love than the bible teaches. I also hear, often, that some believe the bible teaches that we are to love some, one way, and others, another way... and too often, I hear unmarried people talk about a kind of love that they share with a "special" someone which is different than with everyone else. These are just a few extra-biblical issues concerning love that we find. Are we to believe the truth about love from the bible may not be all inclusive... or that it is a general outline, merely giving us the basics... leaving room for the "human experience" to couple with Gods' Word... and on occasion, even take precedence over the Word of God? This is contrary to the precepts I stated, that Gods' Word says about, "His Word"... isn't it?
If we are to share what God says about love with someone whom believes love is deeper than what the bible says, or that not everything about love can be found in the bible... what do we do? No matter what aspect of love that The Lord is using us to share about... it becomes nearly impossible to continue further discussion, when they go beyond Gods Word.
In my experience with arguments like this, where communication reached this... stalemate, the compassion which Jesus gives me for those individuals would not allow me to leave them at that point of teaching. And so I prayed for them... I keep them close to my heart, and bring them before the Lord in spirit... seeking His help.
Recently, in my prayers with The Lord about what to do, I felt in my spirit, that The Holy Spirit was showing me something new... not a new Word from God, but a more inclusive approach to understanding this enigma. That is what I want to share with you, today.
Some of you already know, and are in agreement that Gods' definition of love from I Corinthians 13, verses 4-8 is what we believe to be "Agape"... which the bible says should be: most important... first, toward God, and then toward "everyone else"... and that it comes from Him and not of our own fabrication. You also know that I believe there are other expressions of love such as, "Phileo, or fellowship" and "Eros, or intimacy". These are three of the fundamental expressions of Gods' love that the bible teaches us there are. If we keep in mind the biblical rules that are associated with each of these three forms of love, such as: intimacy outside of marriage is wrong for Eros... and fellowship with ungodliness is wrong for Phileo... and, withholding Gods' love from anyone is wrong for Agape, then we may use all three expressions in the point I want to make today.
The Holy Spirit seemed to remind and draw me to the uniqueness... the individuality with which He designed each person... and the significance it has to God. Just this fact alone gives way to unique differences in every persons experience of love... this is true! It is also true that our experience of life has also brought each one of us unique differences to our experience of love. So, I can and should consider these things in the argument for love. Does this change how we are to perceive what God says about love?
If we imagine for a moment, that my Sister and I share a mutual friend whom is in the hospital, sick... In an act of love for that person, one of us may bring flowers, and the other, a good book. I have remembered how much my friend loves orchids and my Sister knows that our friend loves to read a good book. Each seem to be an expression of love, yet, expressed differently. Our friend feels loved... and my Sister and I both feel as though we have shared love with our mutual friend. This is a simple example of what reveals some truth to the argument of different experiences of love, but we are far from getting to the real issue of love, from the biblical, or Gods' point of view.
In the same example, we dig deeper into what has just happened... Let's imagine that, like you, my Sister and I are both saved and trying to serve God, live as His Word says, but that I am not as mature in Christ as my Sister. At this point in my spiritual growth, I am not usually this selfless to spend my hard-earned money on someone who's going to be out of the hospital soon, anyway. Except, that... "this" friend is someone I have set my affections toward, in hopes of marrying her. I am the only one who knows this, and to be honest with myself... It is really the only reason I would do this for her. She doesn't know this, my Sister doesn't either, so it looks like a real expression of love, right? Wrong! God knows exactly what I have done and why. So what's wrong with that? Wasn't my expression of love a good thing to do?
There are a number of problems with me (in this example) in what I believed to be an expression of love... the most obvious, being that I had a selfish motive behind my expression which should have been focused totally on her, instead.
My Sister, on the other hand... having been far more mature in Christ, had gone first, to the Lord in prayer... asked Him what would be the best expression of love... believed that The Holy Spirit had urged her to give our friend her autographed copy of Billy Graham's book to strengthen our mutual friends faith... then, before doing so, she examined what she believed she should do, against what she knows from Gods Word... and then acted upon it exactly as she had been led... with no concern for herself. That is an example of real love, according to what God says.
But my problem gets even closer to our study focus as we peer even deeper into it. Why had I picked out someone to express a special love with, out of or above anyone else in the first place? And why her? In fact, where did I get the idea that being married was Gods' desire or plan for me? The truth that was revealed to God in this example, was that I do not trust in His plan... it calls into question as to whether I even care what His plan for me is... It reveals that I do not know (or am ignoring) His Word - that we are to love everyone equally and the we are not to put our needs above that of others. I could site many other scriptures ignored, in this simple example, but you get the picture. In this example it would be easy for us to assume that I didn't even know, nor care, what God had revealed to my Sister concerning the spiritual need this woman had, and that we would not be "equally yoked", if by somehow we would become married... which brings another scripture into question that I ignored or was not aware of. You see how far from real love I was the more we dig into my heart and measure it against what God says about love.
Is it wrong to want someone special... No! Is it wrong to express a special love for them? There isn't anything in the bible about a special love... not any more special than Agape. The bible says there is no greater love than that. Well, that's the love God wants, not only for Him, and your special friend... but for everyone else in the world.
We are to Agape our friends, relatives, co-workers, everyone alike... and we don't always like that... But that's what God says love does! Back to the special friend issue... Well, if we have already agape'd them... and If they are equally yoked, we can phileo them... if we have phileo with them long enough, we may both feel led to marry... The bible says that if you are temped to sin, then you should marry. This means that if you are drawn toward Eros... you must be married first. I know this must be quite foreign to some, but we must believe what the bible says.
In my study titled, A Heart For God I point out several times, Christ's urgings for us to measure all that we do, think, and say, against The Word of God. In just this one simple example, we see that, by measuring... not so much "what" was done as an expression of love (although, this too can and should be measured by what the bible says), but that the intent or motive, deep within my heart, before I even decided how I would express love, HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE AT ALL.
I see now and accept The Holy Spirits' reminding me of the special significance of the "individual expression" each one of us has been given in the manifestation of Gods' love. The uniqueness of each spirit God has breathed into each person is what makes us perform as the complete "Body Of Christ"... those who love through prayer... those that always think of our stomachs and bake delicious things... those that express love with beautiful song... those that each us... care-givers... Those whom minister to the elderly, watch our infants, write to our soldiers... the list is infinite and varied in degree. But all these expressions of Gods' love are revealed to God before they actually even happen, and all of them WILL be measured, by what Gods' Word says of each and not by tradition, world-view, etc.!
While we are reminded of the reality of the individual and the beauty of each one of us experiencing love in our own way... expressing it in our own unique character and style... we are also reminded that we are all one body... joined in one spirit... one love... Gods' love.
There exists no such thing of love apart from God. God is love, He knows what love is. He is no secret to those whom love Him. He has revealed Himself in the Body, life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus. He has defined for us the love He has imparted unto us... and He has set for us our example. I hope this has been helpful to you. I am thankful, the Holy Spirit helped me in this study to understand that even with Gods' love, there is the individual expression, unique to each of us.
I love you.
Preston
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