Love Is Not Rude

Love is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. The KJV translates "rude" as "unseemly." Paul is simply saying that there are many ways of behaving badly, and that love avoids them all. I want to be careful now, not to be rude myself, in talking about this, because it is such a sensitive area to teach on.

We do have to ask ourselves, a painful question sometimes, like; Am I rude in the supermarket checkout line when the store is low on checkers? Am I rude to my children when they're throwing a temper tantrum? Am I rude toward my husband when he seems distant? Am I rude to a co-worker who just won't stop pushing their agenda?

The thing that seems consistent in each of these scenarios is selfishness. Rudeness usually occurs when selfish concerns are at heart. Being rude means I'm not concerned about "your" problems. We've touched on this "self" issue in some of the other lessons on love and again, here, it lies at the heart of being rude.

It is hardest, early in life, to focus on anyones needs, other than your own. At birth, that's all you knew, you got hungry, you cried, mommy fed you, you wet, you cry, mommy changes you. Its a beautiful plan in the developmental stages of life, it's the way life should be... at first. But later, as you grow, you learn that you can get things differently, more responsibly. Paul, even brings out this point, right here within this teaching on love, in verse 11 of I Cor 13.

11. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside."

On one hand, we are to be child-like.

Matthew 18:3 "And [Jesus] said, Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all]."

On the other hand, we are not to be child-ish.

1 Corinthians 14:20 "Brethren, do not be children [immature] in your thinking; continue to be babes in [matters of] evil, but in your minds be mature [men]."

Before, we agree with this and move on, to thinking of ways to be less childish, less selfish, and less rude, we should look at one word back in I Cor 13:11 that will help us to see our error. Paul says that, I "thought" like a child, or I "reasoned" like a child. Our "reasoning" keeps popping up in this study on love, and its never pretty, is it?

Gods' reasoning, however, is what Love is all about. Gods reasoning is what we're trying to percieve, understand or achieve. Remember, we said that, love is that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God's love for and in us). And that Love is imparted to us through the Holy Spirit.

That means that I MUST be sensitive to what the Holy Spirit is telling me. Before, I am rude, He will tell me what to do, while I am being rude, He (The Holy Spirit) will tell me, and after I'm rude, He will tell me what to do. It's so much easier to listen to Him early on rather than later, but either way, the sooner you begin to listen to Gods' reasoning, the more His love will begin to come out of you and onto everyone around you.

As I look back on my life now, I see that whenever I made decisions based on "My Reasoning", I took the control of what was BEST for me AWAY from God. I took the steering wheel (so-to-speak) away from the ONE Person (Christ) that actually knew the best course for my life.

Now, I won't argue with you that He used those mistakes to bring glory unto Himself. I'll never forget, In my own attempt to save my marriage, I tried going to church just to get good advise on how to be better... Instead, I found myself asking God to come into my life and save me. And so, I see how He used my mistake at loving, to bring me unto Himself.

I also see how (out of His love for me) God worked out some of the wreckage created by "my poor reasoning". Giving me my children (after our divorce) to finish raising was the GREATEST thing I could have imagined. I know He did that and I thank Him for that daily.

And so, now, with the Holy Spirit within me for quite a few years now, God's "reasoning" about myself and my relationship with everyone else, has changed dramatically. I still make mistakes. I can still catch myself being rude once in a while, but I have changed. More often I catch myself BEFORE I'm rude (Hallelujah).

I, through the help of the Holy Spirit, and the manifestation of God's love, living within me, have been changed. Not of my own doing, my own reasoning, but by Trusting in and Relying upon the One Whom Created Me.

Love is not rude.

I love you.