The Longing Heart

So this is love... He knows he has looked for it all his life. As a kid, he only remembers "looking" for it. The few times that he remembers getting close, he couldn't share it at home. It would get taken away or he would pay for it. There was no such thing, there.

On his own, he would finally think he'd found it, but, it never lasted very long. He only remembers deceit. It's like he was there to pick them up and help them get restored enough to find someone else.

After so many heartbreaks, he quit loving at all. And then he met John. When he realized they had the same feelings for each other, he avoided him for weeks, but the desire for some kind of love was stronger than his feelings of guilt and fear. He didn't know how it would work, but they met again and began the relationship.

Looking back now, he still doesn't remember ever feeling fulfilled. He still felt he had been deceived. That desire to really love and be loved was never satisfied.

The guilt of having been with a man had changed the way he felt around woman and so, he never pursued one again. Only men... and he started taking chances. He got so desperate to find love that he took risks. The fear that he would feel later would scare him into being celibate for a while, but it wouldn't last.

Now, they tell him that he is dying. He already knew it... the changes in his body. He senses that it's going to be hell... on his way too hell.

He knows many would say he deserves this, and maybe they're right. But he can't remember doing anything wrong accept trying to be loved. Thirty eight years old now and never one moment spent in love.

Father, open our hearts, Lord. How many people will die like this today? Father, we know that it was never your plan for anyone to live this way. Help us to see that there is no greater need than to share "Your love" in a seemingly loveless world. And while we must also share Your Word, Father, help us to do so in love, Your Love. Give us the passion that your son displayed here before He died around the same age as this young man.

I love you.