Colossians 3:21

"Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated [Do not break their spirit]" Colossians 3:21.

Remember that the context of this verse within this whole teaching in Colossians is important to keep in mind so we don't exasperate in our own strength. Going back to Col 3:16 or go back to the beginning of the chapter for who we now are in Christ = Col 3:1, 2) which in turn is based on the truths in the first two chapters) the ideal father should "let the word of Christ richly dwell within... with all wisdom teaching and admonishing..." and so filled with the Word and the Spirit, training up his child in a godly way.

Fathers, because they are the spiritual head, thus Parents (both) can exasperate their children by...
1. Overprotection--never allowing them any liberty, strict rules about everything. They must show trust with their children so the child will not despair and which can lead to rebellion. Parents must communicate that they trust.
2. By showing favoritism, which happens when we don't look at each of them through God's eyes.
3. By not helping them see their worth. Many children are convinced that what they do and feel is not important. One way to decrease worth is by not listening to your children. These children may give up trying to communicate and become discouraged, shy, and withdrawn.
4. By setting unrealistic goals--by never rewarding them. Nothing is enough so they never get full approval. Are you trying to make them into a person they are NOT? Some kids become so frustrated that they commit suicide.
5. By failing to show affection (verbally & physically).
6. By not providing for their legitimate needs.
7. By lack of standards (the opposite of overprotection). These children are left to their own. They cannot handle that freedom and begin to feel insecure & unloved.
8. By destructive criticism. A child learns what he experiences in life. If he lives with criticism he does not learn responsibility. He learns to condemn himself and to find fault with others. He learns to doubt his own judgment, to disparage his own ability, and to distrust the intentions of others. And above all, he learns to live with continual expectation of impending doom. Parents should seek to create in the home a positive, constructive environment.
9. By neglect. What God gives you is to be passed down to your children and that requires your time and attention with your children. God expects it!
10. By excessive discipline. Never discipline in anger.

"Lose heart" is from the Greek, athumeo from a = without + thumos = passions, desire, spirit, which means to become disheartened to the point of losing motivation, to be dispirited or to be broken in spirit. To feel like giving up. To despond. In this context, it means that the child feels that he can never do anything right and so gives up trying. When children find that they can do nothing right because of constant faultfinding with them, they are apt to become despondent.

Let's pick up with verse 22, next time.

I love you.